So today has been long and drawn out and has consisted, primarily, of finding people who will pay me for various services. Not those kinds of services (perverts). At least not yet.
When I initially quit my traditional job, just three short months ago, I had known that the time spent finding a career that made me truly happy would be daunting and involve many nights spent balancing check books and generally worrying about finances. But I hadn't expected being employed only temporarily and sporadically. Since I was fifteen I have worked with few gaps in my employment and now, as I near thirty, I am wholly unaccustomed to being unemployed for more than a couple of days. So having not worked last week, and knowing I will not be working this week, is genuinely off putting.
However, I am persevering. I have waitressed and bartended. I have signed up to collect petition signatures for pay in Rochester. I have signed up to substitute teach. I am volunteering with two organizations that I am deeply committed to and in love with-- one as a sexual assault victims' advocate, and the other as a tour guide, et al for a historical site. I'm spending time with family and friends. And most importantly I'm learning. I'm learning what I love and what I don't love, what is important to me financially and what isn't, and what I'm looking for in a job and a career. In general, I am happy. Happier than I've been in years in fact. Yes, I certainly still worrying about grown up things like bills (which are, at this moment, paid and up to date...... Somehow....), but for the first time in my adult life I feel like I'm working to live rather than living to work, and, for once, I don't feel like all I'm doing is paying bills until I die.
Life is good.
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